Category: Thoughts

  • How to know if it is love or just a desire? Verify that right here!

    How to know if it is love or just a desire? Verify that right here!

    Have you ever wondered if it is love or desire what you feel when you meet a boy? Do you believe in love at first sight? Unless you live in a fairy tale, which doesn’t exist, so say no, there is no such thing as love at first sight. However, strong emotions can develop in the first few minutes of meeting a potential partner, such as love and desire.

    Love or desire

    When you first meet someone attractive or start dating or dating someone new, it can be challenging to tell your feelings of desire from the deepest feelings of love.

    Of course, desire is one of the first stages involved in falling in love, but many people confuse the two and take feelings of desire more seriously than they should.

    How to know if it is love or desire?

    The laws of romance and attraction are confusing at best, and love is a difficult ship to navigate. It can be challenging to distinguish love from desire, especially during the early stages of a relationship.

    Let’s look at the key differences between love and desire that can help you determine if your feelings for that cute new boy in your life stem from your hormones or your heart.

    1. Attraction

    There has to be an element of attraction at the base of any romantic relationship, but physical attraction should not be the only reason to be together unless an adventure is all you want, in which case you must be honest with each other.

    Desire: There is such a strong sense of mutual physical attraction that it is practically overwhelming. In fact, what you like most about this guy is his appearance. Maybe this is because you don’t agree with every aspect of his personality, or maybe you don’t even know him well enough to know if you are emotionally and mentally compatible.

    Love: You are attracted to this person and want to be with him as long as possible, but not only to admire his physical features. The true love usually strengthens the attraction with time and not the reverse.

    2. Privacy

    The emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are important bases in a relationship, but should not be confused. Sometimes we forget that it is possible to establish a physical bond with someone without actually knowing him as a person.

    Desire: You want to talk to him just to see if they are interested in physical intimacy; there is no sense of friendship outside the room, and that doesn’t seem to bother either of them.

    Love: You want to go out and meet the person, even after having an intimate relationship. You can talk for hours on any topic and don’t feel bored or uncomfortable when he’s not kissing you.

    3. Self-perception

    Experiencing desire or falling in love can alter the perception of your life and yourself as an individual. Reflect on how the relationship is making you feel internal to find out if it may be lasting love or another case of fleeting desire.

    Desire: You feel sexy because of this person’s interest in you, and the most important thing you can do to impress him is to dress and look your best constantly. You don’t mind sharing news of your new relationship with your family or friends. When you’re with him, the rest of the world melts, and you don’t want to ruin your connection by presenting him with the rest of your messy life.

    Love: You want to impress your new suitor by putting effort into your appearance, but the relationship is emphasizing your other values ​​in addition to your appearance. You feel motivated to grow as a person within your relationship, which positively affects other aspects of your life. You are excited to share stories about friends and family with him, and you are nervous but excited when he meets the important people in your life.

    Everything from your sense of attraction to the other person to your own perception of yourself can be done differently depending on whether you are experiencing love or desire.

  • Why my husband is not paying attention to me? (you must read this)

    Why my husband is not paying attention to me? (you must read this)

    My husband and I often chat because we both work on different companies and are in front of our computers most of the time. So we are free to chat on professional and personal issues.

    My husband is not paying attention to me

    Before, I used to get upset because sometimes I was slow to respond, and I did it in monosyllables (yes, no, ok, Uhm, uh-huh, etc.). Then a creative process began in my head:

    • He is not interested in what I am telling him, he told me.
    • He does not want to talk to me.
    • Or worse yet: I’m sure you’re talking to someone who cares more than I do.

    And I was sad that he didn’t care. At the same time, I got mad at him, and sometimes I even took the opportunity to throw something at him that wasn’t relevant. So he didn’t understand anything, of course.

    Here’s the reason!

    Finally, I learned (we both learned) a fundamental truth: that men and women have different types of attention.

    The men have focused attention, i.e., entirely focusing on one thing and can not attend to anything else. The women, however, have diffuse attention. This means that we pay attention to many activities simultaneously, and we can do and think about many things at the same time. We have to make an extra effort if we want to focus exclusively on one thing.

    When they decide that they are going to do something, they just forget everything else and do not leave it until they finish. But when they decide to do another thing, they think about that differently and look for the other way. 

    Besides, if a complication arises or something else attracts more attention from them, they leave the first thing they were doing, even if it is unfinished, and they postpone it for another time. 

    Women can make the food while watching the kids, listening to the news on the radio, and thinking about their next professional project. Isn’t it?

    Conclusions

    So when your husband is doing something (or thinking about something), and you talk to him, you may feel that he doesn’t listen to you. But it is because he is unable to pay attention to both tasks at a time. It is not that he does not care what you tell him. It is not because he is doing something more important or more exciting, but it is a temporary priority. You came later; you came when he was already immersed in that activity or thought.

    From what I’ve learned, you have two options: wait for him to finish or interrupt him and give him enough time to focus on you.